Seven Hotter MalfoyPotter One-Shotters
by NoahPhantom
Summary: Seven short and random next-gen drabbles. Not in the same universe as my 7-book Albus Potter series. Some are mature-themed. All are Albus/Scorpius.
1. Chapter 1

Scorpius Malfoy opened the door to the Slytherin fifth year boys' dormitories quietly. When he saw that no one was there, he slammed the door shut, finally dropping his cool façade in favor of wanton irritation. No one could be allowed to know that he wasn't as prim and proper as the character he played in most company, and no one, absolutely _no one_ could be allowed to know what was going through his mind as he'd noticed Albus Potter coming out of the Slytherin showers.

Where did Albus Potter get off acting like he owned—no, "get off" was not the phrase he wanted to be using—why did Albus Potter think he had the right to walk around the bathrooms with just a towel around his waist, couldn't he have taken his wand and charmed some clothes on? Well, that wasn't quite fair—it was annoying when you took a shower and then your wand got condensation on it and—

Thinking about Albus Potter's moist wand was _not_ helping.

He groaned aloud. Why was he thinking this way? He didn't like guys. And despite the fact that Potter was a tall and muscular, tanned and toned Quidditch star, oozing with confidence and sex appeal—

This was not going to go away.

He grabbed his wand from his robes, nearly dropping it with how flustered he was, and tossed it around a bit before he caught it. He calmed himself, took a deep breath, tried to clear his mind (yes, even clearing out that clear-as-day memory of the tiny little hairs studding the heavenly, highly-tongue-traceable path down to Albus's—would you cut that out, brain?) and held the wand up to his temple.

He knew there was only one way to get this to stop, and it was not something he wanted to do, but he could tell this was only going to get worse. He had to use the Memory Charm.

Now, instead, he tried to bring those thoughts _back_ into his mind. Ignoring how happy it made him to picture Albus Potter's naked, dripping body with his pitch-black hair plastered to his forehead and his striking green eyes gazing at Scorpius so hard that it felt like they were having sex just from the eye contact, he took another deep breath; but before he released this one, he loudly announced the word that could finally fix this aching problem: "_Obliviate!_"

Just before the spell took effect, he noticed that the door had opened, and a head of very messy yet perfect hair had poked itself in.

Then it was all gone, and he couldn't remember what he had been doing in here. Was he waiting for someone? He looked to the door and saw Albus Potter looking in.

"Scorpius?" said Potter uncertainly. "Did you just…"

"Did I just what?" said Scorpius. "I was just leaving."

He didn't know why, but being around Potter made him uncomfortable.

"No, it's just… That's at least the third time this year I've walked in on you using the Memory Charm on yourself," said Albus. "Is something wrong?"


	2. Puh-lease

**_If you don't like... don't read! If you do like... review, please!_**

* * *

><p>There was a <em>fwoosh<em> and a crash. Albus looked up from his book to see a very sooty figure standing up from the fireplace. He couldn't tell who it was right away, though, with all the filth covering their guest's face (they really needed to sweep that chimney).

"Hey, Slytherin scum!"

Albus's face lit up; only one person called him that! He leapt off of the couch as James took off his traveling cloak and dusted off his face. He tackled his brother in a hug, not caring about the ash that was getting on his clothes. He hadn't seen his brother in months due to Auror training, and he wasn't about to wait one more second to hug him.

"Missed you too!" laughed James. "How's it going, Al? How's seventh year so far?"

"Stressful," said Albus. "Mostly pointless."

"Pointlessly stressful," sighed James. "Good to see it hasn't changed. Hey, I know Dad's still at the office cuz I just came from there, but are Mum and Lily here?"

"Mum and Lily are out with Aunt Hermione and Rose," said Albus. "Girls' night, or something. Part of Lily's birthday present."

"Oh, that's right," said James. "They like going shopping in America on the last Friday of November. Better prices or something."

Albus's heart started to slowly accelerate. Was this it? He was alone with James… Ever since he'd realized he was gay, he'd always wanted to come out to his brother first. Excluding his new secret boyfriend, Scorpius Malfoy, of course. Malfoy was the only one who knew, but now that James was here without anyone else, maybe Albus could finally tell him…

"Well, I figured I'd drop in for Lily's birthday," said James as he extracted a present from his cloak before hanging it up on the rack. "Hope they're back soon. What'd you get her?"

"Hugo and I went in on a Pet Kit," said Albus, managing a grin over his veiled stress.

"Ah, is that the awesome new thing where you can build your own actual, living pet?" said James, walking over to the couch and flopping down, exhausted. "Oh, Merlin, that feels nice. I _really_ needed to get off my feet. It's going to take an act of the heavens to get me off this couch."

"Yeah, it's the pet-building thing," said Albus, still looking for a segue into how to break the news to James. "I also went shopping with Mum and Dad and helped pick out some really nice clothes and shoes for her."

What the hell was he doing? That was the worst segue ever. How was he expecting to bring that around to a coming out announcement? _Oh, James! I went clothes shopping with our parents. Isn't that gay of me? Well, it's because I'm gay._

"Nice," said James. "Aren't those Pet Kits wicked expensive, though? Even splitting the cost?"

"Mum and Aunt Hermione helped us out a little bit," said Albus. "They knew Lily really wanted one. So what'd you get her?"

"A Potions set," said James. "She loves Potions almost as much as she loves fluffy things… I can't begin to fathom _why_ she enjoys Potions, and I feel a little guilty being an enabler, but if it makes her happy, hey. There's some stuff for potions that make things taste awesome, make you have a great night's sleep, and even basic Love Potions."

"That sounds like a terrible idea," laughed Albus.

"Hey, just cuz you've never had a girlfriend," teased James.

Albus's breath hitched halfway up his chest. Was this the segue?

"Speaking of which, are you still single?" continued James.

Albus's mouth dried out faster than he had assumed the laws of physics allowed. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again.

"Actually… no," he said.

"Ah, swell!" applauded James. "What's his name?"

Albus froze.

"Is it Will?" asked James. "You two were super tight, if I remember. Or is it Malfoy? Ha, wouldn't that be ironic…"

"What the FUCK?!" blurted Albus.

"Oh, come on, don't deny it," said James. "It's Malfoy, isn't it? Brilliant!"

"No! I'm not denying it!" Albus slammed a hand against his forehead. "Come on! Really? I was just about to come out to you and you had to completely ruin it!"

"I know you were about to come out to me," said James. "Took you long enough, too."

"What—what does that mean?! I've only known for like a month and a half!"

"Really?" asked James, giving an amused face that was rapidly dissolving Albus's last nerve. "I've known for, like, years."

Albus's jaw dropped, but he forced himself to calm down. "You're such a liar," he mumbled. James was just teasing him—he had to be. "How did you know?"

"Puh-lease," chuckled James. "Shall I count the ways?"

"What does the fuck does _that_ mean?!" protested Albus.

James pressed his tongue against the side of his mouth and held up his fist. "Let's see," he said, and he began to count on his fingers. "You never had a girlfriend."

"That could have just been caution!" argued Albus.

"You like shopping better than you like Quidditch."

"That's an outdated gender stereotype!" protested Albus.

"You sing in musicals in a Muggle summer theater program for fun."

"I can be artistic and not gay!" insisted Albus.

"You wear skinny jeans under your Hogwarts robes."

"That's the current fashion trend," mumbled Albus.

"You pluck your eyebrows and occasionally use blush."

"How the fuck did you know that?" whimpered Albus.

"You sound like a voice double for every gay character ever to appear on the telly."

"That… proves nothing," whispered Albus.

"You used to check out my friend Marvin's arse whenever he was over."

Albus flushed furiously. "I could have just been… looking at his…"

"Dick," finished James.

Albus walked over to the other couch and fell onto it, face-planting onto a pillow.

"Oh, quit being such a drama queen," said James. "Obviously this means it's not a big deal to me, which I assume is the preferred reaction, yes? Would you rather have me make a scene and call you a pouf?"

"No," mumbled Albus into the pillow. "But I kind of… always wanted to come out to you. And you killed the moment. You always kill moments like that. Why do you always have to do that?"

"Hey," said James, getting up off the couch and sitting down next to Albus's couch. He patted Albus's back. "I tease people. It's what I do. I teased you when both of us assumed you were straight, and I'm teasing you now. You should be happy to have a brother who still treats you exactly the same no matter who you are, nor whose dick and balls you're checking out."

Albus groaned into the pillow.

James stood up, and then sat down on Albus's back; Albus wheezed as the wind was knocked out of him, and he started struggling, but James was firmly planted.

"I'm really happy that you told me the truth about yourself," said James casually, as if he wasn't cutting off Albus's air supply. "So I'm not about to withhold the truth from you and say I didn't see it coming. Sorry, Al, but it was really obvious."

Albus stopped struggling, and groaned into the pillow again.

James sighed. "And sorry for not letting you make your 'big announcement,'" he said. "I mean, it shouldn't have to be a big announcement, ya know? But if you want, we can start over, and I'll pretend I didn't know."

He got up off of Albus, and Albus turned over to look at James. "Sure," he grumbled. "Why not?"

"Cool," said James, and he ran over to the fireplace. He stepped inside the fireplace, and then stepped back out. "Hey, Slytherin scum! Good to see you again!"

"Hey, James," mumbled Albus. "I'm gay."

"You fuckin' pouf," said James.


End file.
